Excerpt from “Ryan Holiday’s” ‘the obstacle is the way’
Ulysses S. Grant once sat for a photo shoot with the famous Civil War photographer, Mathew Brady. The studio was too dark, so Brady sent an assistant up to the roof to uncover a skylight. The assistant slipped and shattered the window. With horror, the spectators watched as shards of glass two inches long fell from the ceiling like dangers, crashing around Grants_ each one of them plenty lethal.
As the last pieces hit the ground, Brady looked over and saw that Grant hadn’t moved. He was unhurt. Grant glanced up at the hole in the ceiling, then, then back at the camera as though nothing had happened at all.
During the Overland Campaign, Grant was surveying the scene through field glasses when an enemy shell exploded, killing the horse immediately next to him. Grant’s eyes stayed fixed on the front, never leaving the glasses. There’s another story about Grant at city point, Union Headquaters, near Richmond. Troops were unloading a steamboat and it suddenly exploded. Everyone hot the dirt except Grant, who was seen running toward the scene of the explosion as debris and shells and even bodies rained done.
That’s a man who has steadied himself properly. That’s a man who has a job to do and would bear anything to get in done. That’s nerve.
But back to or lives…
We as a woman in general are a pile of raw nerves.
Competitors surround our business. Unexpected problems suddenly rear their heads. Our best worker suddenly quits. The computer system can’t handle the the load we’re putting on it. We’re out of our comfort zone. The boss is making us do all the work. Everything is falling and crashing down around us, exactly when we feel like we can’t handle any more.
Do we stare it down? Ignore it? Blink once or twice and redouble our concentration? Or do we get shaken up? Do we try to mediate these “bad” feelings away?
And that’s just the stuff that happens unintentionally. Don’t forget, there are always people out there to get you. They want to intimidate you. Rattle you. Pressure you into making a decision before you’ve gotten all the facts. They want you thinking and acting on their terms, not yours.
So the question is are you going to let them?
When we aim high, pressure and stress obligingly come along for the ride. Stuff is going to happen that catches us off guard, threatens or scares us. Surprises (unpleasant ones, mostly) are almost guaranteed. The risk of being overwhelmed is always there.
In these situations, talent is not the most sought-after characteristic. Grace and poise are, because these two attributes precede the opportunity to deploy any other skill. We must possess, as Voltaire once explained about the secret to the great military success of the first Duke of Marlborough, that “tranquil courage in the midst of tumult and serenity of soul in danger, which the English call a cool head.”
Regardless of how much actual danger we’re in, stress puts us at the potential whim of our baser- fearful- instinctual reactions.
Don’t think for a second that grace and poise and serenity are soft attributes of some aristocrat. Ultimately nerve is a matter of defiance and control.
Like: I refuse to acknowledge that. I don’t agree to be intimidated. I resist the temptation to declare this a failure.
But nerve is also a matter of acceptance: Well, I guess it’s on me then. I don’t have the luxury of being shaken up about this or replaying close calls in my head. I’m too busy and too many people are counting on me.
Defiance and acceptance come together well in the following principle: There is always a countermove, always an escape or a way through, so there is no reason to get worked up. No one said it would be easy and, of course, the stakes are high, but the path is there for those ready to take it.
This is what we’ve got to do. And we know that it’s going to be tough, maybe even scary.
But we’re ready for. We’re collected and serious and aren’t going to be frightened off.
This means preparing for the realities of our situation, steadying our nerves so we can throw our best at it. Steeling ourselves. Shaking off the bad stuff as it happens and soldiering ourselves. Shaking off the bad stuff as it happens and soldiering on — staring straight ahead as though nothing has happened. Because, as you now realise, it’s true. If your nerve holds then nothing really did “happen” — our perception made sure it was nothing of consequence.
Start your 2020 with a hold on your nerves and shine worldwide woman!